Has there ever been a feeling when it seems that someone’s life and relationships are better than yours? According to Instagram photos, almost all friends are constantly somewhere, date women online, or even fly to the islands with their loved ones in the middle of their workweek. You think that your life is gray, while all the people around happy. If you periodically have such thoughts, perhaps this doesn’t mean that your life is so boring and primitive. Fear of missing out phobia could provoke similar thoughts in your head.
What Does FOMO Mean?
Let’s start with FOMO meaning. FOMO syndrome (Fear Of Missing Out) is an obsessive fear of missing something, for example, an event or opportunity. You think that you are wasting your life, especially comparing to the colorful life of your friends. The stronger the feeling of dissatisfaction is, the more you want to follow the life of others. FOMO is associated with dissatisfaction with your own life, and social networks only exacerbate an already difficult state. Every day we are under the pressure of a huge array of information, so this unusual syndrome can occur in anyone. A study was conducted, according to which 56% of respondents suffer from this state. The need for information is the norm for a person, but it shouldn’t turn into obsessive thoughts and create anxiety.
This syndrome affects people who didn’t receive parental affection and respect from others in childhood but now can’t satisfy their need for love. Any news, both positive and negative, makes them feel anxious, reminding of missed opportunities or what would happen without them. FOMO-addict people feel less self-sufficient than other people and often suffer from various complexes. Someone else’s life always seems brighter, richer, and more interesting to them. Men urgently need to find woman for marriage because everyone does so. Women want to have a baby because it is happiness. But all this is just an illusion.
How Does FOMO Manifest Itself in Dating and Relationships?
In dating, such people are afraid to miss something. FOMO in relationships manifests itself as strong anxiety that people are lacking something; their past time is not as great as that of someone else. They are afraid to be neither in the right place nor at the right time nor with the right partner.
Dealing with FOMO while dating, they go on dates, try to focus on what an interlocutor says, but they look at their smartphone, thinking that other things can be more interesting. And if they have ex-partners, they constantly compare their lives. And these people rarely enjoy the moment as it is. It is difficult for them to understand that the reality looks completely different on social networks or how someone describes it.
A romantic date that looks amazing maybe not so exciting in reality; someone had a morning on the ocean coast? It was amazing, but actually, it was too cold. You would never know the detail, but if you have a phobia of missing out, you will be furious.
Main Signs You Have “Fear of Missing Out Relationships”
It is hard to admit to yourself that you have some problem that is eating you from the inside. But this is necessary, otherwise, you can just get into a depression, from which it is very difficult to get out.
1. You think a partner can change you
Many people believe that another person will help solve their personal problems. However, no one but you can cope with your feeling of self-doubt. If you want to change someone, then start with yourself first. There is no such ideal person who would be so fantastic to force you to do something.
2. You are afraid to meet the wrong partner
If you visit dating sites, you will find many people who can be potentially your perfect matches. But you filter them out and make a mistake. You may just miss the perfect person. It becomes much more difficult to simply accept people as they are, although one of them can be the biggest love of your life.
3. You have too unrealistic expectations
When it comes to love, we dream a lot. We want our significant others to be partners, best friends, and passionate lovers. Since there is no a single person who could literally do everything that people need, they continue to look for other partners and miss the opportunity to develop relationships with great people.
4. You expect your soulmate will be perfect
You may feel a terrific connection with some person, but when you think about marriage, you don’t take into account the fact that all people have their interests, flaws, and personal space, and sometimes you have to make concessions. You don’t think that sharing values is one of the most important key components.
5. You still follow your ex
Most of us have a plan B. This is someone in your head (often, an ex-partner) to whom you can come back if your current FOMO relationships don’t work out. Nowadays, we choose one partner for relationships and marriage, but all those other people whom we didn’t choose still to stay in our heads.
6. You think everyone lives better than you
You are very frustrated and discouraged by the thought that everyone around you is living better, and you have a feeling of boredom from your relationship. Experiences about missed opportunities and unrealized projects develop into dissatisfaction with yourself and a feeling of one’s inferiority and meaninglessness of life. So, try to do something with your feelings.
Signs of Dealing With FOMO While Dating a Woman
So, now you understand how fear of missing out relationships feels, but what to do if you are dating a woman with this syndrome?
1. Cooldown
Yes, it is not easy to have a relationship with someone with FOMO, but there is no need to get mad or upset because of this. You have two ways: either you stay together or end relationships. There is nothing else here. But before you make a decision, look at the relationship soberly. If not, then your emotions will interfere, and you can make big mistakes.
2. Don’t put blame on her
It’s easy to keep calm and look deep into the problem, not blaming your woman for relationship problems. Doing so, you will succeed. Don’t blame your partner for her syndrome. Relationships and life are quite complicated, which means people will make mistakes along this path. So, try to solve the problem peacefully.
3. Talk to her about your feelings
How to get over FOMO? If you really want to reach a consensus, talk to your woman. If you feel that you may not be ready for such kind of relationship, tell her about it. You will hear how she feels. Then you will determine the next step. Maybe your girlfriend really wants a relationship, but she needs time to adapt to it. Not everyone has years of experience.
4. Don’t give her ultimatums
Of course, it is easy to say, “Either we have a normal relationship or let’s break up!” It will end badly for you. Really. Ultimatums never work out because you force someone to choose between you and something else. A woman has to decide for herself what she wants, and not because she was forced to do it.
5. Share her lifestyle
Is she the right partner for you? Maybe you just don’t share the same values or lifestyle. While you enjoy sitting at home and watching movies, she likes to go to raves every week and sleep late. This doesn’t mean that you can’t be together, but if you have the opposite styles of life and values, this will become a problem in your relationship.
How to Deal With FOMO in Dating
So, the problem begins where the effect of FOMO develops into a destructive feeling. Then the personality orientation “who I am, what I want, where I go” is lost. If other couples make you anxious and envious, then you need to stop yourself in this case.
1. Don’t try to have a perfect relationship
How to get rid of FOMO? Remind yourself that there are no perfect people. Behind a beautiful facade, there is an ordinary life with its own problems. For obvious reasons, problems are not displayed to everyone else. All photos and stories work on the image. This image has little relation to real life. And very often, there is nothing to envy.
2. Accept what you have
Accept the fact that it is impossible to have everything at once. No one can watch all the movies, attend all the parties, travel to all countries, earn all the money and date the best people. Yes, scrolling social networks creates a misleading impression that others can. But the truth is that others lead, perhaps, only a slightly more intense life.
3. Understand that everyone wants to show off
And they do everything possible so that you envy them. Take a look at your friends. They also show photos of a happy life. But after all, you know the truth, and you realize that they’re not doing as well as they’re showing. This is just the perfect image for everyone.
4. Make a list of things to do
This is a real pleasure for you two. Such things will be useful. And this list may include bowling, which you have to visit after work on Friday and drinking cocktails in a trendy bar on Saturdays. If you like it, then do so. And there will be no time left to monitor other people’s lives.
5. Prioritize and filter out things
The questions of “What are my main goals in relationships?” “Does it help me achieve my goals?” “If I go there or do something, will it affect my relationships?” will help in this matter. In this analysis, many will be surprised to find that they change fear for joy. So, how to deal with FOMO? Just do what you think important.
6. Arrange informational detoxes
For example, once a week, on Saturdays, reject the use of gadgets and completely devote time to yourself and your loved ones. And learn to relax because fatigue and lack of sleep worsen the emotional and intellectual state, exacerbating the syndrome. Just get rid of unnecessary information that spoils your life and relationships.
7. Enjoy life
Finally, and better, first of all, loudly and clearly say, “I owe nothing to anyone. And I just have to enjoy my life and my relationships.” It’s good to be the best version of yourself. But it’s bad to be someone’s copy, even if the original is of excellent quality. Remaining yourself and living your life is perhaps the most important thing.
FOMO syndrome is the scourge of our time. If you understand that you experience tremendous anxiety or even panic attacks, and obsessive ideas appear in your head that the lives of others are much better, more interesting, more fun than yours, then it’s better to turn for help. It is very easy today to get into this psychological trick. But you have a choice: to envy or become an object of envy. Choose the second option. You can do it.
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